


Anxious Love

by famgrill_sinner



Category: TAZ - Fandom, The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Anxiety, BEFORE BLUPJEANS, BLESSED, God I just want to l i v e, He's perfect and I love them, I mean, I strive for taz ships, M/M, Magnus/Barry crackship, OOC, Taz has blessed me, crackship, please help me, really ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-28 00:40:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13892592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/famgrill_sinner/pseuds/famgrill_sinner
Summary: Barry decides to play a game with Merle. Truth or Dare. Of course, he chose dare but that meant confessing to Magnus.





	Anxious Love

**Author's Note:**

> Oh boy I've been sitting on putting this one up. I wanted to make sure that  
> 1) My formatting wouldn't be messy  
> 2) Barry wasn't too ooc  
> 3) The chance to take a breather from those crazy oneshots.
> 
> I love them, I just need to take a break sometimes, ya know? BUT I will be doing more in april, should it be a couple weeks of angst?

It started as a joke more or less. Nothing major. But Barry still squirmed anxiously in his crips jeans at what Merle had said. Technically, it was Barry's fault he was in this situation. That was still his decision to play and he sure did. Merle agreed that he played the crap out of the game. Which didn’t mean anything at the time.

Now here he was. Standing outside of Magnus’ door while holding his breath. He was playing truth or dare with Merle. So it was bound to go awry somewhere. Sadly he found the line where ‘friendly dad Merle’ turned into ‘extremely sexual Merle’ and that was the worst thing he’s seen on this already long journey. 

_ “Just knock and say what I told you to.” _ Merle whispered from Barry's stone of farspeech. He was positioned at the end of the long corridor with a wide smile followed by a wink and a thumbs up. Barry muttered to himself and knocked on the door. Should he ding-dong-ditch? He could picture the look on Merle's face as he ran down the hallway. No, he was a man of his word. That wouldn’t be right. 

“Hey Barry what’s up!” Magnus greeted with that huge smile on his face. Everyone thought his files were exgratting how much of a rustic hospitality he had but once you saw him (let alone were sent on a mission with no end) it was obvious how he didn't exgratte it. Barry had slipped the stone in his pocket but still knew that Merle was still listening.

“N-not much.” Barry mumbled pushing his glasses up slightly. It was just a bet but he didn't even know if it would hurt the larger man. Sure Barry was a thicker boy, but not compared to Magnus. Magnus has muscles and body hair while Barry was on the other end of that stick. Very little body hair and hardly any muscles.

“So what did you need?” Magnus asked adjusting his crimson jacket. Sure Barry had his shirt and red robe on. Magnus had the IPRE jacket on with no shirt. Said it held him back or something along those lines. It wasn’t like he was bad looking he just looked, beat up. Magnus was rather beat up at this point in his life. Mid-twenties, shaggy hair tied back in a ponytail, chest full of hair, a few deep scars along his arms and face and  _ God’s those sideburns _ . He did look like a fighter when it got down to it.

“He needs to ask you!” Merle yelled from the end of the hallway. It echoed and Barry groaned to himself. He was  _ trying  _ to ask him but it wasn’t that simple. He could have just used the stone but he made it even worse for everyone who happened to hear his yell. 

“Whatta ya need to ask?” Magnus asked eyeing the fidgeting man. He was absentmindedly scratching the top of his hand which was a nervous habit he had picked up at some point along this horrible journey. 

“I, uh, well. You see Magnus, I, uh.” Barry mentally yelled at himself for stuttering like that. He was just a loser after all. Everyone on the team was cool (mostly everyone) in their own ways. The twins were insane in the kitchen, their captain could fly and fix anything, Merle had a way with plants, Lucretia was perfect at literally anything, and Magnus was such a good fighter it should have been illegal to send him on a space journey. Sure Barry could strategize but that meant nothing in close hand combat. 

“Gonna make it buddy?” Magnus asked with concern drowning his voice. That was a good question. Would any of them make it? What would happen if they all bit the dust? Those thoughts alone made it rather hard to sleep. Maybe he’d have a nice nights rest once in a long while but that wasn’t the case most of the time. 

“I’ll.” He took a deep breath. “I’ll make it work if you’re here with me.” That didn’t mean to come out like that. It was meant to be a pickup line but it came out as a statement. 

“Nice job buddy!” Magnus laughed and raised a hand for him to high five. “Glad to see you’re having a nice transition shifting into the teamwork path instead of solo.” That, well, that  _ hurt.  _ He didn’t mean it, Barry just said it wrong. The shorter man shifted in his spot again, still scratching his hand as if it was covered in poison ivy.

“You good?” Magnus asked for what felt like the twentieth time today. He was a gentle giant. He was worried about his makeshift family. There was no way he could be sure. What would happen to him now. Merle must have saw or heard. Maybe the sound of Barry's heart shattering. Whatever it was Merle managed to scamper over and kick Barry in the shin. Not that he felt it.

“Come on you blue jeans freak. I need help in the meeting room. Something happened.” Merle shot grabbing the taller man's red hand. The humans face was still deadpan over what happened. Merle started to move and Barry followed slowly.

“Nice job using teamwork Merle! I’m proud of you guys!” Magnus called out as they turned the corner of their quarters and into the meeting room. Merle locked the door behind them and locked the other entrance. All while Barry was frozen in place. The dwarf looked at him with a scowl and kicked his shin again. This time Barry felt it.

“I can’t believe you did that Bluejeans.” Merle shot getting ready to kick the humans leg again. He was tall enough a swift punch to the groin would hardly be a challenge. If he didn’t start talking that was the second option. 

“I didn’t do anything.” Barry said as he still stared off into space. It was a mistake to say the least. Merle pulled out chairs for the both of them and sat down, by sat down he meant spun the chair around and sat on it in the ‘friendly adult trying to be cool’ style.

“That’s the problem!” Merle laughed looking at the man. It was true. If he froze like that, and if Merle wasn’t stalking him, he would have just stood there. Still as a statue with no responses to Magnus’ questions. “You wanna try again? Or do you need your cool dad to help you out?” 

Barry wasn’t sure. It wasn’t like Merle was his actual dad. It just felt right calling Davenport at Merle their space fathers. Everyone (aside from Lucretia) did. Maybe the ‘cool supporting dad’ side of Merle was showing at a time of desperate need.

“We can try again after lunch. You’ll think better on a full stomach. Pan knows I do.” Merle chuckled to himself standing up from that rather awkward sitting position. He patted Barry’s crisp bluejean covered knee with a smile. “It’ll be fine. Trust me. If not, well, you can kill me on one of these cycles.”

Now  _ that _ was a deal nobody could turn down. There was a point where there was too much Merle. Now he had consent to deal with it like a grown up, by murder. Barry muttered an okay and the short man was on his way to unlocking both doors. Barry glanced around the room one last time before heading into the hall again.

Well, he would have if he didn’t slam into Magnus, which resulted in the shorter man falling to the ground. Barry glanced up at him. He could feel a dark blush covering his face as he pushed his glasses back up.

“Ah jeeze. Sorry buddy! Didn’t see you there.” Magnus said extending a hand to help him up. Barry took the offer from the large hand and forced his shaking legs to work.

“It’s fine. I should really be on my way. D-don’t wanna be caught up in my work.” Barry said slipping past the burly man which stood in the doorway. Sure running away from the man you want to talk to would solve your love problems. Worked before. Out of sight, out of mind.

That wasn’t true. As Barry shut the door which lead into his room he felt like it was safe to let out a breath that he was holding. This stupid crush was totally impacting his work and everyday life. Why couldn't he be more like Merle or the twins? Always they remained cool in the worst situations. Then again, he was almost positive that they were all stoners. Or on some weird drugs. Maybe they all were. 

“You’re so dumb.” Barry wheezed. He was. It isn’t good to lie to yourself about that kind of stuff. He just felt bad about all of this. Merle could work like a normal person around Davenport. He even dropped very obvious hints that he liked him but alas, Davenport didn’t acknowledge the other had feelings. It was kind of funny watching them. Then he thought about his love problem.

Barry really  _ really  _ liked Magnus. Simple as that. He liked Lup but it just didn’t feel right. Not at the moment at least. He’s thought of having all of them in a polyamorous relationship. But he didn’t feel like that would go over well. 

Barry started to pace around his room. Mind going wild over all the things that he could have done, should have done, and would have done if he was more relaxed. Heck, he was pacing around his room over a  _ boy.  _ Let alone another crew member. Not that he could love anybody else. Too much heart break if it was someone from the doomed planet. 

Then he smelt something metallic. Maybe he was having a stroke. Seemed like the best option. Wouldn’t have to deal with this for another year. No. That wouldn’t be right. It would make everyone have a harder time dealing with everything else that was thrown at them.

A small knock on his door almost made Barry jump out of his blue jeans. He muttered a ‘come in’ which the other person obliged. It was Magnus again. The larger man's smile faded when he looked at Barry. Worry for something about the man that he wasn’t quite sure of.

“Dude are you alright?” Magnus asked with his voice coated in a thick layer of concern and worry. Barry shrugged then nodded. He thought he was. There was no way that he could get into his feelings right now. Not enough time to rehearse on himself.

“We need to go like, now.” Magnus said rushing over to Barry and gently nudging him out of the room. Was the ship under attack? That was the last thing any of them needed to do deal with. Maybe the twins did something they shouldn’t have. Wouldn’t surprise him. 

“What’s the rush?” Barry asked. It was ironic. Magnus always rushed everywhere and got antsy if he didn’t. It was kind of sad if you thought about it. He was like a shark. If he stopped moving then he would die.

“Barry, I’m sorry, but have you lost it?” Magnus said with a deep exhale. It wasn’t like him to get mad. Even if he was just saying something small. He was known to sugar coat stuff or just avoid it, leave it for Taako to deal with. 

“Don’t think so.” The blue jean loving man said as he was ushered down the hall. 

“Barold your hand!” Magnus yelled only to apologize. He didn’t mean to yell. But Barry was curious now. He looked at his hand. Uh oh. That’s a problem. He didn’t blame Magnus for yelling now. 

It appeared as he was pacing around his room, maybe even going down the hall, he was still scratching his hand as if it was covered in poison ivy. Which it wasn’t. But what it  _ was  _ covered in was a open wound. That meant nothing good. What was even worse was the fact the blood had managed to drip down onto his blue jeans, soiling them and soaking through.

“You’re telling me that you didn’t notice that?” Magnus asked ushering him into the bathroom. It was rather unsettling when you thought about it. Barry was scratching away at his hand, not even noticing the blood oozing out of it. A deep mistake on his part. 

“No. I was” Barry paused and tried to say anything other than ‘thinking about how to ask you out’ instead he settled for “thinking about stuff.” Magnus opened the cabinet and fished around for some bandages. The shorter human sat on the toilet so it would be easier to fix himself. Barry held his hand over the sink and tried not to touch Magnus’ chest with his damaged hand. That large, hairy chest. One that could withstand anything. Would it be rock hard or soft? 

“Gonna make it?” Magnus asked clearing his throat. Hopefully he didn’t catch Barry staring. “You’ve been outta it all day. Is this teamwork stuff getting to you?” That made Barry chuckle. If only it was that simple as having a little butterfly in his stomach about making new friends on the playground.

“Maybe.” Barry muttered as Magnus pulled out a bottle of something, maybe to keep the wound from getting infected and a roll of bandages. It didn’t hurt which was the part that made him worry. Maybe he was dying.

“It’s uhh gonna sting. Sorry buddy.” Magnus said crouching down and reaching for a washcloth then dousing it in the clear liquid. He gently applied it to his hand and  _ then  _ he felt the wound. Magnus didn’t lie. It did hurt. Hurt alot but it was nothing Barry couldn’t handle. He was a man. Heck, he even died before.

Magnus treated the wound in silence as Barry glanced between the large human and the wall. It didn’t surprise Barry that Magnus was good at fixing up people. He wasn’t in the best condition but he still looked amazing. The scars all came from battling. 

“Where did you get all your scars?” Barry asked trying to break the silence. That was a good question. Magnus normally woke up and acted as if they didn’t matter and weren’t a thing. He didn’t find a reason to. 

“Just trying to do the right thing. Protect the weak. This one” he pointed to a scar on his abdomen with a faint smile. “Very first one I got. Stabbed trying to protect a dog. My mom was so worried about me.”

God’s Magnus was  _ perfect _ . From how he looked, laughed, what he did any why, not to mention when he sang. Everything was perfect. Then Barry thought about himself with a frown. h e was none of those things. Not in his eye at least. The most he was able to do would be read sheet music for singing was out of his league. 

“Barry are you sure you’re alright?” Magnus asked applying pressure to the hand so it would maybe stop bleeding. It wasn’t as if he scratched through his hand. It was more of broke a lot of skin. Plus it was dry on the Starblaster so that didn’t help.

“W-why do you ask?” Barry stuttered out. Magnus sighed at him and his eyebrows came together in worry. 

“You scratched until you bled, didn’t even know about it, now you’re gonna pound a hole into the floor.” Magnus said pointing at his leg. It was tapping rather fast on the tile floor.

“I didn’t know if you could tell Magnus,” Barry tried to keep his leg still but with no avail “I have really  _ really  _ bad anxiety. It prevents me from doing certain stuff and saying stuff that is more important.” Magnus was quiet for a moment until he chuckled.

“Just push those feelings down like I do! Why have more problems when you can ignore them?” He laughed. It wasn’t a joke as much as it was shining light on a bad situation. Magnus always did that. He always made everyone happy. Always made sure everyone was safe.

“M-magnus can you keep another secret?” Barry whispered looking away from the man who was kneeling next to him and wrapping the hand in bandages. He nodded focusing on wrapping the hand in a nice layer of bandages. Trying to prevent him from scratching again.

“I... ” the rest was muttered beyond belief. Whatever it was, it made Barry's face deepen quite a few shades with a blush. Magnus cupped a hand to his ear and hummed in a way of saying ‘well?’ Barry took a deep breath and stopped shaking his leg. 

“I really like you Magnus.” He came this far which meant he couldn’t go back now. “More than team members. I mean, like  _ like  _ you.” That really made Magnus go quiet. This wasn’t, thinking of something to say. This was, how to process this with awkward silence. Then finally he spoke.

“I thought you liked Lup.” Oh no. Magnus had caught him. He did like Lup. But he did like Magnus. This was a problem.

“I just. I just want to make sure whatever feelings I had for others were. Out of the way?” Barry shook his head. That wasn’t the right word choice. “I wanted to try others and see how we matched?” Not the word choice.

“You wanted to make sure she was the one?” Magnus said ripping the bandage off of the roll and tying it. Barry nodded. That was the word choice he was looking for. “We can try it for a few cycles. Sounds like a plan.”

“Thank you Magnus.” Barry said looking at his hand with a smile. Then he snickered. “Now Merle has to ask Davenport out for a fancy dinner.”

“I knew he was part of this.” Magnus laughed standing up with a smile of his own. Maybe this would be fine. Even if it was for a few cycles. That should be enough to do what they wanted. He really did like him. He just wanted to make sure that he could get all other feelings out of the way before he aimed for Lup. 

As Magnus stood up he pressed a kiss against Barry's forehead which made him smile and blush even more than he already had. He could have sworn that Magnus had called him a dork before he walked out of the room. It was hard to say.

This would work and be perfect. 

**Author's Note:**

> Guess what!? I made a tumblr since nobody told me not to but nobody told me to :) So you can totally hook me up with some feedback ;;) If y'all are interested (you better be interested) here it is:  
> http://famgrillsinner.tumblr.com/


End file.
